moving on mondays

Tim Tamashiro began tonight's Tonic show with talk of a dragonfly flying and this song, 

Steve Allee Trio - Dragonfly

Last week was miserable. I've been trying all day to say it's behind me, but really it's not, ...the weight of it is still here. Acupuncture for breakfast, grief counselling for lunch, a visit to the greenhouse for rejuvenation, ...totally exhausting.

I feel like I have a split personality - one completely consumed in grief, the other caught up in the season of gardening. Before gardening it was needlefelting, before that just fog... ..after Finn.
From not giving much thought to my new garden to finding myself more in-tune than ever is a little confusing, but I'm going with it - whatever it give me..., minute to minute, hour to hour, day to week to who knows. I'll never predict anything..

I'm going to ride this gardening wave. In my own garden I've never been more organised. Our new garden, our forever garden, has Excel worksheets with lists of all the new additions, and will include all that will be moved from Pearl, or added by friends. This time there's going to be a record from the start - better than this blog. 

(This blog would work better for what I wanted it to if a) I finished my thoughts and b) I tagged things properly so I could search it. I'm trying to be better at this.)

my pencil notes remain,
Excel worksheets are just an addition

There have been so many changes already, huge changes but hardly noticeable.. that's what happens when you take away boring. 

Damn I shouldn't say that. I've had serious heartache over the cutting down of the ash tree. Maybe it was my bad week. Maybe it's just my messed up emotions and attachment to everything. I just feel really bad for cutting down a (doomed but otherwise) healthy tree. My promise is to make up for is with a incredible edible annuals. And maybe blueberries.

I've also been planning other gardens, for other people. That along with being BMN in the social media world have allowed me to sort of step outside myself, outside the grief, and just be the gardener, think about the plants and be creative. It's what I've always done best, enjoyed the most..., I get to play with photography, share a little gardening knowledge, laugh a lot with Cathy. Who wouldn't want to do that? 

All of it together keeps me distracted in all the right ways. My garden plans are changing in my head all the time, new things come up, ideas..., more meaning to it all. Every step of this grief finds its way into my plans, creating a map within my garden that will grow and change along the way. 

Plants are arriving... I've ordered some specifics, some for names, some for colour, some to replace things we've had. On our dining room table is a little 'Beauty of Moscow' Lilac which will live near the house in place of one of these boring shrubs. It arrived today along with plugs and bulbs - phlox, asters, virginia bluebells...

The shack is full of plants, I have the kitchen table covered, an upright hot-house in the living room, seedlings growing, morning glories tendriling. The ash is gone, so is the cedar by the front door, stumps soon to be ground out. Shrubs will be adopted, soon it will be my blank slate, ready for our garden.

Dear Garden Diary

I could go on without a computer, and I could even lose my camera, but I could never let go of a sharp pencil and a notebook. Long before digital photography and garden blogs I had my garden journals, and they are still where I do my best thinking. Drawing the landscape and doodling gardens is the best way to visualise plans...

...Photoshop works too. 

It's been hard for me to draw beds that I don't remember very well. I took some photos last year, but not enough - and not while I was thinking 'garden'. Not knowing how much space I have doesn't really matter right now..., they'e big enough beds and I think I can fill 'em (of course I can fill them)

Moving from Pearl (divided or taken whole): ligularia, all adopted daylilies (red, peach, yellow - unknown), geranium *Wargraves Pink, John Davis Explorer Rose, Therese Bugnet rose, Morden Blush rose, Morden Sunrise rose, rudbeckia, stronecrop *Autumn Fire, hostas (of course), tiarella, pulmonaria, irises, peonies x 2, ...um, ..more...

To be added: roses (already mentioned), joe-pye weed, liatris x a few, cone flowers, heliopsis, annual butterfly weed & evening primrose (if they survive a few seasons hooray), heath aster (small white, various other asters, various stone crop, lemon trillium :), ...and who knows what else...

A bird's eye view of this bed is really what is needed to display the haphazardness of shrubs and marigolds - oh and some individually planted cosmos completely frail in the wind.. It's pretty much all going to go. The Oak tree (my favourite) deserves better company. 

Photoshop doodling, imagining those Hansa roses building a (maintained) hedgeline, a mix of sun a shade plants tolerating the changing light from morning to night, ....there are still bare spots in this doodle which are easy enough to fill..., I just wish I had a better sense of space right now.

I'd like to find a Double River Wye daylily (my favourite), which I had years ago, but for some reason never took with me..., or lost along the way.

All of this reminds me of the front garden transformation at Pearl. :)

The south facing side of the house is..., um, ...crazy. The Virginia Creeper has swallowed the house, and though it needs a good haircut it is also a giant birds' nest condominium. This needs to be done carefully. I have no idea how.

I don't want to lose the creeper, I like it..., I even like it swallowing the house. Maintenance is all that's needed. 

As for the two shrubs with a red x mark, ...sorry... they don't even understand what they're doing there. Random round green balls. 

The star marks line the new path we're considering putting in. It became apparent right away that people will always being walking around back to find us - in the shack or otherwise, especially in summer. Having a path added to the existing lockstone will al so enable us (Rohan) to clear it in winter. (Aussie man loves his snowblower...). I've given myself a few extra inches of garden bed against the path to allow for low growing perennials - oooo, and maybe some creeping thyme and smelly things to walk on. 

The first step, as with any garden..., is the soil.., and good grief the soil in these beds is horrible.

This is a view of the little kidney shaped bed outside the shack. Rocks, dandelions, marigold bundles, and a clump of cosmos. For all the efforts in renovating the house, this took me by surprise. Sigh. This garden needed me. 

I know I can't physically do the work, so I'm counting on Bill and the team to turn this over and top it up with some compost and manure mixes. Once the soil is taken care of in these beds (front under the Oak, along the south fence, front east-south face of the house, the weird kidney bed by the shack, ...and the small areas on the north side of the house... That - is what I'm going to tackle this year. That and planting a tree or two in the back (one bare spot)..

...should keep me busy..

Dear Garden Diary,

R completed the garden fence on Sunday; allowing me to drill in the final screw. The fence is a work of art, and fills the back yard with the scent of cedar.
It's too bad the garden within has been annihilated by the damn army worms. It's ugly out there - like shrapnel blew through the kale and chard.
The Trichograms are visible in small numbers, not that I've been able to photograph any. I suspect the ants ate more than hatched.

The ridiculous heat of late has kept me from bothering with much of anything in the garden, aside from drought prevention and pea picking. I still have some things to pot, and I have little time to get it all done before we're gone for three weeks. Yipes.

This morning while lying in bed, awake after R left to catch his early  flight, I thought of something profound to write about the garden - or about how I feel about something to do with it. It was good, really good..., but it's gone. I actually got up and partially dressed thinking I would sit down with  pot of coffee and write it all down, then shook my head, threw off my gown and crawled back into bed. There was no way I'd survive the day in the greenhouse on such little sleep. So, I willed myself to remember that profound thought and went back to sleep.
This is why it's important to keep a notebook and pencil at had at all times. I bet if I had I would have something more interesting to write about.

Somebody recently said they loved the idea of keeping a garden blog, but just couldn't imagine having the time to do it. I can't - as a gardener - imagine not doing it. Before my online journals I always kept written journal - still do, sort of. I will always doodle, and keep a pad and pencil in my garden apron - I don't know how to keep track of everything without notes. I note when I plant things, when pests arrive, buds bloom - scribbles and notes on dirty paper. I've been trying to keep better records of all my plants, inspired by the exemplary excel sheet organization of Northern Shade. Mine are coming along. Along with that darned glossary (which I've been "working on" for a few years now..)

Time is a funny thing. Funny how when you're running out of it so much can get done. So much of everything I do is done in pieces. I wish I had ten times the time I have do get things done, started - breathe life into some imagined projects. Ah well, for the time being I'm happy with keep this scattered blog. It's the best record I have of gardens I've known. My desk is covered in years of notebooks and baggies full of plant tags & empty seed packages waiting to be logged. A hoarder of important stuff.

#twopeasinapod

A lot of my time is spent staring through my iPhone, using limited characters and hashtags to write about my garden. My Instagrammed garden journal is simple to keep, simple to share. I often think of them as short abstracts to inspire me when I have the time to write more.
This is why I love photography so much - how so much can be said in a photo, one shot. I framed this one of two peas in a pod to show my engagement & wedding rings, the two peas, R's beautiful garden fence, and our summer garden all over everything. A photo that completely defines 'amy's garden' right now, us: two peas in a pod - with our Australian wedding just around the corner.♥ ♥ ♥

My to-do list is long - starting with: finish planting the poor suffering plants in small greenhouse pots. Reseed some things (spinach, beets)..plant more peas again. (The dogs have enjoyed most of the peas this year...as always). ...and on...

I look forward to seeing it all when we return.

Speaking of which, my most important to-do list item in Australia this year is to garden blog the experience. I had such good intentions of doing it last year. With tulips and daffodils blooming along side woody zonal geranium shrubs, bird of paradise plants lining the highway during Christmas in July in the Mountains. At least I can count on my hashtags to bring me back.

Dear Garden Diary,

iGarden
8 November 2011

Yeah, I took this photo using my iPhone, dangling it over the balcony's railing. Dangerous. Earlier yesterday I dangled it over a bridge on May Street. This is why I have to return to using my Nikon for photos, with it's sturdy strap - less likely to slip through my fingers to a watery or pottery death. I've been so distracted with the iPhone photo apps lately that I haven't bothered updating about the garden. These things happen.

Well, we cleaned (R did most all of the gross work) and tucked away pots, preparing for winter the best we can. If we weren't basement hoarders we might have more space to store things. hmm.
R also did all of the digging, creating additional vegetable garden space. There is now three times the space and half the grass lawn. We're definitely putting a yellow brick path in to boarder the grass and perennial garden because we are corny like that. grin. Beyond the mugo pine the potentilla will be taken out and a gate will be put in its place.

This is exactly what happened with my first garden. Over eight years I slowly turned sod into garden. This is only my third season with this yard. Heh heh... We'll always have to have sod in the dog run - and the dogs will have have the run of the "dog forest" to the west of the existing path. It used to be a lovely, kept formal garden with lush grass that could only be manufactured. It was beautiful.
But it wasn't my kind of garden, and I think R feels the same (he grew up with orchards and bees, and did the dogging after all). It's fun to have a productive yard, and we both want to use this new space wisely. We now have the space to properly plant after our over-zealous seedling shopping sprees, we vow not to screw this up. We had more tomatoes than we could handle this year, giving them away from a box on our door step in the end...

I've said it before: our most challenging hurdle (more even than having a Gromit) is leaving the garden at the peek of the season. That's a toughy.., summer vacation time is summer vacation time - and family beckons. In the real world family trumps gardens, so the gardener has to adapt. I'm thinking there has got to be a way of planting around our three week adventure away.

I am so excited to have space for root vegetables in our own backyard. So excited. I think a couple fine brussel sprout plants would fit too. grin.
There's still a heap of triple mix waiting in the dog run to be put into the new garden, some lime, meal, and whatever compost I can come up with. It looks good and wormy already, so we're off to a good start.

Now that it's November, it's time for doodling gardens not digging in them..., taking long baths, settling in for winter. I can't help looking forward to next year, feeling so much better after feeling so off for so long. I didn't even realize how ill I've been until I started feeling better - things like balance: just in the last two weeks, while walking downtown noticing that I feel more steady than I have in years, and my body moves more cooperatively (if that makes any sense). I can breathe a little deeper, sleep a little deeper, think ahead again. It's actually quite remarkable, and a little scary.
Whatever infection that started this all - back in 2009, I'll probably never know..., and honestly I don't even care about knowing anymore. It all makes sense, the culmination of an infection (undoubtedly starting in my kidneys, as per my initial complaint, spreading, finding equilibrium with my immune system, reacting autoimmune: "lingering pathogen") combined with a toxic overload - mold most likely, and god only knows whatever else (Ryan Building). Stress. Miscarriage. Depression.
I won't disregard gardens and greenhouses either, sadly. There's a reason why products get pulled from shelves and tests are run on soil. It could happen to anyone, really, for so many reasons - making it hard to fuss about - unless you plan on living in a bubble, or worse: in fear.

It took two very different approaches to medicine: Western and Eastern, two hemispheres, an acupuncturist from the picturesque Leura Mall, and four local female doctors practicing in four unique healing directions to bring me back. The last month has been like an awakening.

I believe that by the time next spring arrives I'll be back to where I was, maybe even better.


CURRENT MUSIC: Watching the Wheels - John Lennon

In the Key of Catching Up

I used to curl up to my computer on a Sunday morning and listen to In the Key of Charles on CBC Radio with a pot of coffee and some garden dreams, often in the same theme as Charles's to write in this blog. I miss that show. I don't know what's held me back from posting, other than life..time, and dogs. This is the first season in years that I have a garden ready and waiting for me, prepared. This time I can just start planting. Minimal digging, minimal amending, it's as if I stepped back in time and have my mature garden back. Mature but never finished, that is. I can express in words how happy this makes me feel.

Last year there was still a construction zone over our vegetable garden when spring arrived. Early planting wasn't possible. I think it was July when things finally got underway...
We were also heartbroken and unmotivated at first. I was challenged trying to convince myself that 'gardening is therapeutic', and 'gardening heals' ~ things I've said and written about for years, but wasn't put to the test until last year. I didn't believe it could, or would heal or make our pain go away. I still don't. Some hurts can't be healed by my garden spade. But, the garden spade can certainly be a distraction, and it eventually was (along with my camera).

Gromit guarding his garden, July 17, 2010

Once we had the little vegetable bed prepared, planting all our quick kitchen favourites: zucchini, cucumbers, tomatoes, and herbs we cook with most importantly basil, (and R's new lavender plant) came together nicely.

There's a new John Davis Explorer Rose in the corner by the door with my tallest trellis anticipating a glorious year ahead. Hats off to my former J.D. rose, who lived to be placed in this spot - sort of. He was one of the first plants in my first garden, surviving every move we made, but just didn't want to bounce back this time.



The new John Davis will entertain me with me with it's red-rosy buds and precious pink petals, and will be neighbours to some (just some) of the garlic we're going to plant. There's chamomile to one side, which I'm hoping will return this year, and peppers caspsicum (of various kinds/degrees of heat) to the other.
This year we hope to grow more capsicum, more heat, for more salsa, and roasted red pepper soup. There will also have to be more cucumbers for the dogs, more basil (perhaps more pots), and better management of the zucchini vine. Spending three prime weeks of the growing season in Australia (in winter) doesn't jive well with training vines, so I may try pleading with our dog-sitter (who "doesn't eat vegetables") to give it a hand.

I've been making my lists, gathered from 2011 seed catalogs which have been arriving since the autumn of 2010. Every journal has scattered lists, some organized with page numbers and others with doodles mixed up in garden plans.

I wonder if R will catch on to the theme(s) of some of my choices...

Beets also included will be Touchstone Gold and Merlin. Eight Ball summer squash, and Vervain Verbena officinalis, Barbeque Rosemary Rosmarinus officinalis (in a pot, to move indoors), and Cupid Grape Tomatoes. Themes are the easiest way to weed though the bazillion choices available.

I prepared myself for the task of tackling the front yard which was, um.. "over-grown" by drinking wine on the balcony looking down on it. We spend a lot of time on the front balcony in summer, catching the breeze sweeping up the street from Lake Superior five blocks away. The view below matters.
I remember having one large bottle of water and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc on the steps while I worked to weed through the neglected garden. It took three days, and then some. By the end of summer it looked like this:

Someone in a previous post commented asking why I didn't bring the garden right to the edge of the sidewalk. I've been wanting to answer that. The reason is that this is a fairly busy sidewalk. It's not so much a busy street (for being downtown) but has a lot of foot traffic year round, and is ploughed in the winter. With all that comes damage. I suspect plants would suffer near the edge, not that the garden edge couldn't be something else. It would be much nicer with a Common/Woolly Thyme cover, maybe with some Ajuga and seasonal Periwinkle, but for the time being it's grass.

2010 Garden ~ New Beginnings

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My new journals, gifts from my mother - one from Stockholm (the purse/camera bag sized blue one) and another beautifully crafted sketchbook by Alison Kendall. The dragonfly is not the kind of sketchbook I would throw in my garden bag and bring to the plot or greenhouse, so will be reserved for couch and backyard doodles.

The blue pocket journal has been useful for doodling ideas on the go. Our community garden plot will be used for big root things like potatoes, beets, carrots, and some brussel sprouts for Hannah, chard for soup and red cabbage for apples.

We didn't take a community plot last year, which I regret, but I'm not going to get lost in what didn't happen and look ahead to a well organized season. I've already talked to Scott about my plans (thank goodness for the coffee shop run-ins). I'm sure plans will change from time to time when I'm in the greenhouse.

I can not wait to start planting - in the ground, but in the greenhouse more. I can't wait to breath that air. There's a big part of me that is terrified of the months ahead, not knowing if I can physically do it. I've been trying to focus on this being it's own greenhouse experience, and not compare it to years past. My spine won't stand up to what I used to do. I simply have to adjust what it is that I do, and I'm okay with that.